Another Homebirth Story

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Birth of Alithiyah Victoria

I had been preparing my self the entire pregnancy to conclude the baby making chapter in my life. It would be my 3rd and last child. I had mixed feelings about it, but decided that it was right for my family. I enjoyed every moment of being pregnant for the last time. Even as my due date came and went I was OK with it. I was absorbing every thought and feeling so that I could recall later in life the amazing journey pregnancy had taken me on.

Week 40 and 2 days I got a call from my sons Grandmother (Blanca, my ex-mother in law). She wanted to take the kids to the movies and let Keith and I have a few hours alone. It was a really hot day as most are here in the valley of the sun. That didn't stop us from walking miles and miles to do some last minute shopping at the outdoor mall. We had fun and the kids had fun, but the heat was to much and I I said “well maybe this baby will be boiled out of hiding”.

Later that same night I was having Keith do a few last minute items on the “baby is coming soon list”. As he was doing that I stood up to help him with something and felt a funny trickle. Hmmmmmm what was that? I had been saying the entire pregnancy that this labor would start with my water breaking just because that never happened with my other labors. This baby was different and I knew it from very early on. Sure enough after a few minutes and water still trickling I called my midwives (7:00pm). Pretty much all they said was to wait for some contractions to start and then we would make a plan.

I was pretty excited knowing that this was it. I called a few friends and family to let them know things were happening, but not to get to excited since contractions hadn't shown up yet. Keith went to the store to get food for the midwives team and I did the dishes. Robbie and Kaliyah were so excited helping to clean up around the house knowing that they had a baby brother or sister on the way. They had asked me everyday for the last few months if it was time yet.

At 9:00 my student midwife Jamie called to say she was on her way to check on me and baby. When she got there I was in the middle of drying my hair after a shower. I had only had a few minor contractions that were really far apart. Baby was doing well and I was all revved up and ready to go. Jamie knew it could be a while since contractions were still far apart. She told me to drink a beer to help me relax and get some sleep. Well you don't have to pull my arm to hard to get me to drink a beer. Jamie went back home and said if we needed her to call.

Keith had a hard time putting the big kids to sleep and Kaliyah was having a rough time knowing that she wouldn't be the baby for much longer. She had a few tears and lots of hugs from both of us letting her know that she would always be special to us. Finally by 11:00 I was in bed TRYING to go to sleep.

The longer I laid there the harder it was to even think about sleeping. By 12:00 I noticed that contractions were every 10 minutes and uncomfortable enough for me to know that sleep was not gonna happen. I laid there for 3 hours listening to Keith's long breaths as he slept. When a contraction would hit I would try to slow my breathing down to match his. I was still wondering if I was ready for pregnancy to be over since it would be my last.

By 3:00 I was sick of laying there and got up to see what was left around the house for me to do. I put a frozen potato leek soup my mom had made into the crock pot. I wanted my midwives to have good hot food after all the hard work was done. After that I laid on the couch for what seemed like forever just timing contractions on my phone app. That got old quick.

Keith woke up at about 4:30 to see what I was doing. He saw that things were still coming along and contractions were about 4 minutes apart. He asked when we should call the midwives and I kept avoiding giving an answer. I just wanted to have alone time as long as possible. In the back of my mind I was OK with no one showing up and just having an unassisted birth. That was something I had wanted early on in the pregnancy, but it didn't make Keith comfortable.

We spent an hour on the couch just talking about anything we wanted. We giggled a lot and I was completely in love with him at that moment. I was a jerk to him in my last labor and was trying to make things different this time.

By 5:30 I wanted to get in the bath. Things were starting to get real! I could feel my mind set beginning to change. The water felt amazing. I don't know why I didn't use the bath in my first homebirth. It really is such a natural instinct to want that warm water.

6:30 I got out of the bath and Keith had oatmeal ready. Food never tasted so good! Your senses are definitely heightened in labor.

Jamie text messaged me around 7 saying she was on her way and wanted to check up on baby. I was in the middle of texting Blanca setting her up to come over and take the big kids to swim lessons at 10:00. After I text Jamie back a huge contraction hit and I know that my brain flipped a switch. I knew that she was on her way and that meant it was time to have a baby. I had a second of panic, but pushed it way far back in my mind.

When she arrived at 7:20 I was in the middle of a contraction that felt like it was taking forever. When it ended she didn't even have to ask how I was doing she could see that things were happening just the way they were supposed to. I didn't want to use the Doppler but she didn't have a fetoscope with her so we just skipped checking the baby. My gut instincts were telling me baby was safe at that moment and Jamie was fine with listening to my instinct.

Kids finally woke up at around 7:40 and they were EXCITED!! They wanted to help rub my back and get the birth ball for me. I was not feeling comfortable and I knew that there was no going back at this point. I had a minute of freak out and I did cry. I didn't cry because I was hurting, I cried because I knew that I needed to release my emotional tension. I needed to get past this hurdle to move on to having my baby. The kids were amazing at anticipating what I needed. They stayed calm and quiet getting me tissues and taking pictures. I was FINALLY in the zone soaking up every feeling and sensation. Knowing that I was in a safe environment I was ready to have this baby.

Jamie knew that things were getting close and kept asking me if I wanted the rest of the team there (2 other student midwives Danielle and Rachel and the head midwive Shell). I kept saying I didn't know what I wanted and I wanted someone else to decide for me. I was getting to the irrational point of labor and all I could think about was WARM WATER. I got in the tub at 8:30 and zoned out for the next 40 minutes. The only thing I said the whole time was “ORGASMIC BIRTH.....MY ASS!”. I don't recall much else except for Jamie and Keith fanning me. It could have been big foot for all I cared, as long as they didn't stop fanning, I was good.

I hadn't planned on getting any dilation checks, but I just had to know how much work my body had done. I got out of the tub and headed for my bed. It was 9:20 and I was 7cm dilated. I laid propped up in bed while in the background I could hear Jamie calling the other midwives telling them things were getting close. I had a good rhythm going. When a contraction would hit I would have to move my legs and shake my head from side to side. I was surprised that I had no vocalizations like my last birth. But I did have a lot more body movement this time. Then it hit me! This insane urge to push. It had only been about 15 minutes since I was checked and at 7cm. I didn't want to swell my cervix so I did the dumbest yet most natural thing that came to mind, HORSE LIPS. I had always made fun of birth stories where women said they did this. I thought it was ridiculous, but it really worked. You can't push when your doing the funniest thing you can think of :)

10:00, I knew the kids had to be on their way to swim lessons, but with this pushing urge I told them to stay put. Blanca had been helping them get ready and they were just about to leave and all dressed in their swim wear. I had to pee after the massive amounts of water I had been drinking. Kaliyah thought it was a good time to get the video camera out and record me on the toilet. I was irritated and told her to go away. I immediately felt bad and had Keith tell her mommy was not mad. Then I started having the urge to push again. I got off the toilet and between contractions and slight pushiness I had to stop to do my hair. Keith was laughing at the fact I was just about ready to push a baby out and I had to make my hair look good for the pictures.

10:04 I was ready for this kid now and Jamie said I better get where I want to be for birth. It was happening right then. I wanted the big kids to be there so I was yelling for them to come quickly. While I leaned over the bathroom counter staring at my self in the mirror and seeing my kids reflections I was ready. I didn't know exactly what I was doing even though I had, had 2 births before. I never got the natural urge to push with my other kids. So I just let my body do everything. It really did push on its own. There was no yelling from others in the room to push, or to breath, or 1-2-3-4-5.....count down. I seriously did nothing and my body took over. I could feel the classic ring of fire which for some strange reason made my feet burn as well. I remember wanting to know if baby's hair was blonde like our last baby. They all told me they could see dark hair. I was ready to see my baby and I thought about squatting down, but bending my knees was impossible. I had a mirror in front of me, but I was to short and couldn't see baby's head so I reached down and felt the most amazing thing ever. I remember hearing Jamie and Keith saying “HI BABY” and I just needed to see this baby so I pushed as hard as I ever could and that was it. Keith caught this slippery little thing as I yelled at everyone not to tell me what it was. Then after all the anticipation of 9 months and thinking I was carrying a boy IT WAS A GIRL! I had a flicker of disappointment and then I FELL IN LOVE.

She made it earth side at 10:06

As I stood with my baby in my arms all I could think to do was breastfeed. She had a lot of gunk in her nose that was making her cough, so she was unable to latch on. Then I felt a gush and looked down and a pool of blood was forming at my feet. Jamie was getting anxious, I could hear it in her voice as she told me in a rather demanding voice to “SIT” and “KEEP YOUR BLOOD IN YOUR BODY!” I was holding this little thing in my arms and it all seemed like a dream. I was unable to comprehend the amount of blood I was loosing. At 10:08 the placenta was born and the bleeding continued. Over and over Jamie was telling me to “hold my blood in my body”. She was getting out herbs to put under my tongue. When that didn't work I told her to rip a piece of my placenta off and put it under my tongue (Ancient Chinese did this to stop post partum hemorrhage).

Nothing seemed to be working and I was still loosing a considerable amount of blood. Jamie said she was sorry but she needed to give me the pitocin shot. I was disappointed, but could feel my consciousness beginning to dissapear. I accepted it and moved on to better things like my beautiful baby.

The rest of the birth team arrived shortly after all the commotion. I was slightly disappointed that they all missed it, but knew that it happened the way it did for a reason. After we all got cleaned up I was able to talk to Shell who believed my placenta had detached at the exact time of baby's birth. That is what caused the hemorrhage. I drank some AMAZING placenta hot coco to help replenish my blood supply and all was well within an hour of the birth.

Alithiyah was still coughing up lots of fluid and was not able to calm down or latch onto the breast. My midwives decided they needed to help her breathing and pumped some air into her lungs and gave her some oxygen. She immediately calmed down and latched on instantly.

Finally we were both doing well. I climbed into bed and was fed amazing warm soup by Jamie as I breastfeed my baby girl. She was then checked out, weighed, and measured. Alithiyah is my largest baby so far, coming in at 8.8 lbs & 21 inches long. I am certain if we weighed her at birth she would have been well over 9 lbs, but she was a pooping champ and filled my hand a few times after she was born.

The next 3 weeks were filled with LOTS of ups and downs. We discovered Alithiyah was tongue tied at 3 days old and we had to get it clipped. I was in massive amounts of pain and would scream at every feeding. I got masstitis as a direct result of the tongue tie. Post partum depression was outta control and my first baby (16 year old cat) died. It took me months to fall completely in love with Alithiyah. I feel like I missed out on her entire first month of life due to all the issues we had.

Now I look back and see that it was such a short blink of an eye. I have almost completely forgotten the post partum pain I was in and now can't imagine life without this little girl. Life is good, the universe is good, and my family is perfectly complete!

Thank you
Jamie
Shell
Rachel
Danielle
Blanca
Keith
Robbie Jay
Kaliyah